I'll be honest: I have not been doing well in the past few months. There have been good times for sure, but overall my mental health has been pretty bad. I think I'm finally, slowly getting better, though, so that's why I'm writing.
I think that part of the reason I felt terrible was that I wasn't expressing myself in pretty much any way. I wasn't writing. I wasn't drawing. I practically didn't exist outside my own head most of the time. And because of that, I had no sense of who I was. I was just too scared of sounding or looking stupid, or overdramatic, or hypocritical, or any other "bad" word someone could think to call me.
So, to break the cycle, I'm going to write anyway. I'm not particularly proud of anything I've written here, but I'm going to publish it anyway. By doing this, I'm making it easier for myself to publish things I will be proud of, in the future. I just need to make, make, make!
I sometimes catch myself having very lofty ideas about art and its possibilities, and then I don't do anything close to the things I think about. I think I need to make bad, stupid art. I want to be everything I can possibly be, and by definition that means I will sometimes be something I am not proud of. That's just life! That's fine.
Hopefully something I said here makes you want to make something, too. There will be more to come!